Are You Ready to Experience True Change?
Deciding to seek counseling can be an emotional experience. For many people it has taken them years to come to the decision to seek outside help. Even more difficulty is the search to find the right counselor. Finding someone that can relate to your situation and has the skill to guide you through is very important. The most wonderful experience is when the counselor and client truly have a great fit. It is at that point that counseling can really make a difference. Counseling can assist with rejuvenating a broken relationship, fighting off depression, or coping with anxiety. At RCS our mission is to help you finally achieve the change you desire.
The cost of counseling is often a deterrent to seeking help. At RCS, we specialize in providing low cost counseling for many issues. Whether you choose to pay our affordable cash price or utilize your health insurance plan, we have a solution that will fit your budget. Visit our Low cost counseling tab and Services tab to find out more information about our prices and service. We thank you for considering our services and hope that we can make a difference in your life.
Message from Chief Executive Officer
As a therapist, and business owner, I am truly passionate about making a difference in the lives of others. My passion stems from seeing firsthand the amazing benefit of therapy. Many individuals find that after seeking advice from family, and friends they are still lost and lack direction. The reality is when anyone is in the middle of a storm, seeing the road ahead is impossible. Obtaining guidance from a counselor can bring clarity and peace of mind.
One of my specialty areas and research interest is building self-esteem and confidence in my clients. Having a healthy self-worth is a core component of living a happy life. Regardless of the circumstance, poor self-esteem has a devastating effect on the decisions that we make in our relationships, friendships, jobs and individual lives.
It is time to embrace your value and reach your true potential!
Dr. Kirleen R. Neely
Chief Executive Officer
Dr. Neely is Excited to Announce the Release of Her First Children’s Book Titled
Book Description: Straight Talk is geared towards children in the 8-13 year age group. The book is intended to spur mothers and daughters to have straightforward conversations on the tough topic of self-acceptance. Mothers routinely tell their girls they should love themselves, but often don’t have the words to explain the history behind the message. The book is based on Dr. Neely’s research on dominate beauty standards and hair loss for young women of color.
Story Description: Sisters Morgan and Maddie give their mother nothing but trouble when it comes to combing their hair. They try many tricks to get out of the process and, more important, are convinced that getting a hair relaxer will be the answer to all their troubles. Their mother does not know that some family friends have made the girls feel that they have BAD, ugly hair. The story unfolds as their mother makes this discovery and has a straight forward conversation with the girls about the history of hair shaming, self acceptance, and the importance of embracing your unique qualities.
Tip of the Month for March 2015
Disconnected: What TO do and NOT to do in an Argument
Even in the best relationships arguments are inevitable. Now what that means is that arguments don’t have to be the end of a relationship. So many strong relationships come to an end because no one knows how to handle arguments in a relationship. That’s why it is so important to learn how to best handle these moments of “disconnect” in your relationship. Now a relationship doesn’t just mean two people with romantic involvement. In fact any two people interacting in a significant manner do have a relationship with each other, whether it be a work relationship or a family relationship. Knowing the do’s and dont’s of how to navigate arguments can lead you back to a connected state in your relationship and most importantly strengthen that relationship.
- Do be honest
- Do apologize to your partner
- Do try to compromise
- Do try to listen to what they have to say
- Don’t be silent
- Don’t try to WIN the argument with your partner
- Don’t blame your partner
- Don’t Ignore your partner
- Don’t say that you’re leaving. In moments of passion it is easy to say things or make decisions that are more of a reflection of current situation. So quitting a job or ending a relationship is a big decision that should be made in moments of quiet self reflection rather than a heated argument.
- Don’t deny that you’re angry. Be honest about your feelings denying that you’re angry doesn’t make you less angry.
- Don’t rake old issues. Bringing up old issues during new problems doesn’t solve the new problem. Try to solve things one problem at a time instead of trying to solve every problem every time.
Even with this list, people in a relationship can still make some very common mistakes in the way they think about their relationship problems. With this next segment I go through 4 out of the 9 thoughts that can destroy a relationship and make an argument much worse.
- The All-or-Nothing Trap. The words “always” and “never” are dangerously misused. (“He ALWAYS just wants to be right”) (“She NEVER listens to me”.) These words create an absolute that might not accurately express the problem at hand. Also on the receiving end it’s tough to hear that you’re ALWAYS this and NEVER that.
The “Should” Bomb. While I feel it is ok to somewhat assume that someone SHOULD know something about you, I don’t feel it is ok to expect it. Meaning that it is ok to feel that your partner should know when you are mad or sad, but you should not expect them to know or persecute them if they don’t.
Catastrophic Conclusions. Taking isolated situations and applying them to the larger problem. Such as your new boss needing to keep you late at work one day and saying, “This place is terrible and I’m not going to like it here at all.”
Label Slinging. Name calling or “label slinging” ignores the positive traits of your partner and associates them with a label with negative attributes such as “lazy” or “stupid”. These labels put down your partner as well as distract and defer them away from the problem
The first step in any argument is to first identify the problem at hand. Once you have identified and accepted the problem, then actually change can begin. So if while reading this article you feel that there is a problem you indentify with and want to approve on then just realizing that was the first step.
Bernstein, J. (2015, February 22). 9 Thoughts That Destroy Loving Relationships. Retrieved March 5, 2015, from https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/liking-the-child-you-love/201502/9-thoughts-destroy-loving-relationships-0