Richardson Counseling Services in San Antonio, TX

Are Your Words Affecting Your Child’s Self-Esteem?

RichCounsel — Thu, 16 May 2013 02:20:15 +0000

The other day while shopping for a new dress, I overheard a mother and her college age daughter having a discussion. It was one of those innocent situations that we all run into everyday. I was in the dressing room next to them, trying not to listen but finding myself listening. The young woman had an event to attend for her college sorority. Her mother very loudly made comments about the outfits that she tried on, “that makes you look heavy”, “that one shows your arms”, “this one is nice but it’s tight around your stomach”. I wanted to knock on the door and ask the mom to say one postive thing without a but behind it. I am certain that the mother did not mean any harm; in fact, I think she really wanted her daughter to look fabulous and feel attractive. The disconnect between the mother’s intentions, and her words was obvious. Her constant focus on her daughter’s physical appearance instead of the style of dress shouted you are not okay the way you are. I think that there is a difference between giving a child honest critique and focusing on body features that cannot quickly be altered. As parents, we have to make sure that our intentions and our words line up. The hustle and bustle of parenting can put us into automatic pilot mode. The key is to slow down and make sure your words and intentions line up. We will not be able to stop obstacles from coming in our children’s lives but we can equip them with the foundation to live resilient lives.

Helpful Videos Featuring Dr. Kirleen Neely

RichCounsel — Mon, 08 Apr 2013 02:24:06 +0000

Dr. Neely shares helpful advice on teaching children how to cope with fears about violence. The recent school shootings have prompted parents to have difficult conversation with their children.

Dr. Neely discusses the challenges of dealing with family and loneliness around the holidays.

You teach people how to treat you

RichCounsel — Mon, 08 Apr 2013 02:19:07 +0000

We have all faced situations that make us question if the people that are the closes to us love us or not. This thought often rears it ugly head after being taken advantage of by a friend, being cheated on by your partner or being taken for granted by family members. Whatever the situations the feelings of anger and disappointment can make you turn cold and stop giving and sharing of yourself. Before you allow these types of circumstances to alter your personality, I want you to consider looking at things from a different perspective. Many times in our closes relationship we do not set limits and have trouble saying no. We allow our love ones to do thing, say things, and act in ways that disregard are feelings. Instead of standing our ground we make excuse for their behavior because we do not want the confrontation. Once you allow someone to get away with hurting, disrespecting, and disregarding your emotions you have “taught them how to treat you”. You have taught them that you will accept what they dish out. Changing this behavior does not mean that you turn into someone that is always ready for confrontation but instead it means listening to your intuition and standing your ground when something really does not feel right. The people that love you will soon learn what your limits and boundaries are and you will have more fulfilled relationships.

Welcome New RCS Interns

RichCounsel — Mon, 08 Apr 2013 02:15:36 +0000

RCS, Welcomes Walt Hudson MA, LPC-Intern and Calleen Friedel, MS LMFT-S CEAP SAP to our staff. Walt will provide services through our low cost counseling program and Calleen will work with military families and private pay clients. Give our office a call to schedule an appointment with our new staff members.

Dr. Neely to appear on Full Circle television show

RichCounsel — Mon, 08 Apr 2013 02:11:54 +0000

Dr. Neely will appear on Full Circle Inspiration Talk television show on April 13th. She will explore the topic of self-esteem and share specific tools on how to improve self worth. The show will air on April 13th at 11am and 6pm on PATV and the radio program will air at 7:30 pm on KDRY 1100 AM.

Hosting Self Identity Group

RichCounsel — Mon, 08 Apr 2013 02:09:36 +0000

RCS, is excited to announce that we will be hosting a women’s self identify group starting April 13th. The group will be an excellent resource for women who are trying to reclaim their life after a significant life change. Experiences like going through a divorce, or becoming an empty nester often leave women feeling unsure of what step to take next. This group will allow you to gain insight from other women who are going through similar life changes and learn tools to reclaim your life. The group will be facilitated by Erin Marble LPC-Intern. Please give us a call to get more information about this exciting group 210-523-4200.

RCS is Changing Lives

RichCounsel — Fri, 08 Jul 2011 14:35:31 +0000

RCS is making a difference in the lives of couples and families.

You are motivated, talented, caring and truly have what it takes to be successful. Despite these qualities, you find yourself falling a little short of success in relationships, career achievement, and life. You have allowed insecurities and lack of confidence to shape how you work, how you live, and how you love. The struggle to break free from these negative patterns is exhausting. The good news is, getting help from a professional can bring clarity, and peace. It is time to embrace your value, and reach your true potential!
As a therapist and consultant, I am truly passionate about helping women and girls build self-esteem, gain confidence, and achieve success. My philosophy is that if you can change the way you think, you will change the way you live. The journey will be challenging but the reward is priceless.

Warmly,

Dr. Kirleen Neely

Some services we provide:

Individual Counseling
Family Counseling
Relationship/Marriage Counseling
Premarital Counseling

Allow us to walk with you through your journey to better mental health!

Effective Communication

RichCounsel — Tue, 21 Jun 2011 19:55:23 +0000

“Every time I try to talk to my spouse about a problem it ends in a fight”

I have heard this statement countless times from both men and women. In love relationships one of the greatest challenges is to learn how to talk through problems. A mixture of hurt feelings, past lies, and anger makes talking seem impossible. Couples often find that the statement “we need to talk” turns into a yelling match with each person trying to prove their point. In the end, words are said that cannot be taken back, and you feel worse than before you started the conversation. Developing healthy communication takes effort and time. Your communication skills are muscles, in order to strengthen the muscle you have to exercise it.

Below are some tips to start exercising your communication muscle.

Begin with the End in Mind
Focus on what you want to accomplish by having “the talk”. In most cases you want to be heard and understood. Try to avoid comments that will put your partner on the defensive. Ask yourself if the comments that you are about to make will get you closer to your end result. Comments that blame and shame your partner need to be left out. Time and place are also very important to keep in mind. Try to find a time with limited distractions and when emotions are not high. Do not try to have “the talk” when you are arguing, upset or angry.

Focus on “I”
The fastest way to get a fight started is by coming at your partner with YOU statements. Statement like “Our problems are all YOUR fault” are sure to lead to a fight. These statements put your partner on the defensive. As soon as your partner hears YOU they tune out and think of how to lash back. Focus the conversation on how you feel. Use “I” statements instead of “YOU” statements. For example, “I am concerned about our problems”.

Give Your Partner Time to Think
A great idea is to start the conversation by letting your partner know they do not have to respond to your comments immediately. This will give your partner time to think about what you have said and not respond emotionally.

Check back for more tips on couple issues, child behavior and grief/loss.